‘We Are Terminating Our Relationship with Rush Limbaugh’: Satan

Radio Host Loses Longtime Sponsor

Satan Hates Rush LimbaughCOLUMBUS, OH (The Borowitz Report) – Embattled radio host Rush Limbaugh suffered another major desertion today as he lost the support of one of his longtime sponsors, Satan.

The usually reclusive Prince of Darkness announced his decision at a hastily called press conference in Columbus, Ohio, his unofficial headquarters on Earth.

“Due to remarks of his that we consider unacceptable, we are terminating our relationship with Rush Limbaugh,” Satan said in a tersely worded statement.

According to one advisor to the Lord of Misrule, Satan had stuck by the radio host as long as possible but after he called a young woman a slut on the air Mr. Limbaugh had become “radioactive.”

“After a certain point, the association with Rush became problematic for Satan’s public image,” the aide said. “We went through a similar thing last year with Rupert Murdoch.”

Advertisers continued abandoning Mr. Limbaugh’s program in droves today, including companies who had sponsored it for years, like the online dating site NaziMingle.com™.

The only good news for Mr. Limbaugh today came from GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney, who offered this muted statement of support: “Look, I wouldn’t have chosen the words he did. But it’s not like he called her a poor person or something.”

‘We Are Terminating Our Relationship with Rush Limbaugh’: Satan « Borowitz Report
Technorati Tags: , , ,

RSS Google News

  • With Romney Out, Republican Presidential Hopefuls Scramble for His Donors - New York Times
    The New YorkerWith Romney Out, Republican Presidential Hopefuls Scramble for His DonorsNew York TimesGov. Chris Christie of New Jersey and former Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida plunged into all-out battle this weekend for the biggest unclaimed prize in American politics and the decisive advantage that could go with it: the billion-dollar donor network once ...Mitt, we […]
  • Balloonists land in Mexico after record-setting Pacific flight - USA TODAY
    Telegraph.co.ukBalloonists land in Mexico after record-setting Pacific flightUSA TODAYTwo balloonists crossing the Pacific landed safely off the coast of Mexico on Saturday, making history by traveling nearly 7,000 miles — farther and longer in a gas balloon than anyone else. The pilots of the helium-filled Two Eagles — American Troy Bradley, ...Pilots in Helium-Filled Balloon Land […]
  • Profile: New Italian President Sergio Mattarella - Xinhua
    Kansas City StarProfile: New Italian President Sergio MattarellaXinhuaROME, Jan. 31 (Xinhua) -- Sergio Mattarella, a lawyer and Constitutional Court judge, on Saturday was elected as the new Italian president at the fourth round of voting following days of consultations among political parties. Mattarella, the sole candidate ...Italy's new president is Sergio MattarellaeuronewsItaly elects senior judge Sergio […]